I love cinnamon rolls.  In fact I probably am a bit obsessed with them.  Fortunately a nearby grocery store carries the best cinnamon rolls.  But you see I only really like one type of cinnamon roll.  The kind that is “wrapped.”  (It’s the kind where you take a strip of dough and roll it like a fire hose.)  Now the grocery store doesn’t always carry this type.  They seem to alternate between two different kinds.  Well I kept buying the non-wrapped cinnamon rolls.  I thought “oh these will be just as good.”  Each time I was horribly disappointed.  They weren’t anything like what I was expecting.  There was a discrepancy between what I wanted and reality.

Psychologists have a term for this.  It’s called “discrepancy theory”.  (Clever name, right?)  It’s the idea that when our ideas of what should happen don’t match with reality we become dissatisfied with things and less motivated to work.

This simple theory has far reaching implications for our lives.  If you took a job thinking you would be quickly promoted, but now you’ve been in the same job for three years – you’re going to feel the burn of that discrepancy.  I spend a lot of my life speaking in front of groups.  In each of these cases I am painfully aware that I need to meet that groups expectations for my presentation.  When I do, people love what I have to say.  When I don’t, they complain.  This is true when I teach psychology at Xavier or when I present a key note presentation for a company.  (Bonus tip: good communicators know how to set expectations, and even change them, when giving a talk).

We get most upset when things don’t meet our expectations.

This is just one more reason it’s a horrible idea to make a promise and not follow through on it.  This is also a reason why Realistic Job Previews are so important.

photo provided by flickr user ninjapoodles